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December 23, 2009

On Pegging 2: Gender Play

This essay has been moved to my new blog and can now be found at http://jasonstotts.com/2010/05/on-pegging-2/

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jason,
I am a heterosexual male in a committed relationship and have experimented with pegging and female-top positions without any gender reversal roleplay.
I think it is great for variety and I experienced fantastic orgasms without ever feeling I was "less of a man".
However I cannot agree with you 100% My main issue is that although pegging has been an enjoyable addition to our sexual arsenal, we still find ourselves having traditional sex more often than not. Although I am not averse to sometimes taking a submissive role in sex as a man, I feel that taking a mainly dominant role IS part of my masculinity.
I understand that part of this is probably due to cultural preconceptions. However I like to think I am a free thinking person and I think plain old biological predeterminism has a role here. To try and summarise, although many couples would find pegging fun and insightful, I think the majority would still prefer traditional maledom and femsub sex as their most frequent interaction.

Jason said...

Anon.,

I certainly wouldn't want to argue that one should engage in pegging more than traditional vaginal intercourse or even that one should frequently engage in pegging. I think it's a good addition to one's sexual repertoire, but certainly not obligatory.

In terms of your experience of your masculinity, I think that most men feel the same. I certainly know that the feeling of dominance is linked to how I experience, and want to experience, my masculinity. I just think that some men take this too far and are afraid to try actions and activities in which they are not being dominant and this cuts you off from many pleasurable activities and things that can expand the way you see your sexuality.

~Jason

Anonymous said...

Hey guys,
I had a girlfriend years ago that I was open with and expressed my desire to be pegged and it turned out bad, later leading to a break up around being "gay". Now as stated I don't believe pegging to be gay but even now years latter I am still nervous to talk about it with my current girlfriend. I like to think of my self as a sexual being open to anything but I feel that this fear of being labled gay has put a damper on my "ability". I need some advice on speaking with my lady about pegging withou the lables.

Jason said...

Anon,

I would recommend starting slowly with them and leading into it. For example, tell her you like having your ass played with during blowjobs. Once she gets comfortable with that, then maybe broach pegging. If she takes the "that's gay" position, tell her that the prostate is the seat of the male orgasm and that all men would like prostate play if they were comfortable with it, since it's where our orgasms come from.

If she maintains her position, refer her to these essays on pegging. Shortly, I will be posting a new unified version of my essays on pegging on my new blog (still named Erosophia, google it).

~Jason

Anonymous said...

Hi guys, I'm a girl...

(I'm Portuguese, so I don't speak perfect english, ok?)

Sometimes I feel men really wanna do it, but they are a little scared to ask and so am I!! How would you suggest the approach?
Best wishes for your lovely experiences! I must say I really admire your confidence. You are gorgeous and extremely hot!!!